![]() However, for autistic people, our minds don’t have such a clear-cut relationship with the amygdala and it’s why, whether we’ve known you for a minute or a decade, we aren’t afraid to space invade when we start a discussion. Amongst other things, the amygdala is great for registering fear, when something isn’t quite right and it’s why, in most of us, we feel stress and unease when someone steps too close. Have you ever heard of the amygdala? It’s this almond-shaped lumpy mass which sits inside our cranium and it’s thought to be the reason we have emotions. Subsequently, to interfere with an autistic person during this time is to tell them to not feel at all and so, while it’s okay to move us to a more secluded environment, it’s not okay to scold us for reacting in a way which has been incorrectly perceived as rude. Since then, laughter in autistic people has come to be understood a bit better – with the prevailing theory suggesting that, as laughter is one of our most innate methods of communication (being one of the first expressions a human has before language), it could be that when autistic people are experiencing high emotions, our body immediately falls back on to this inherent response and gets the giggles. Inevitably I would be punished by teachers, but the look of disapproval from fellow students was far worse. For the event, a guest speaker would be invited to discuss their experiences of living through one of the world’s bleakest times and, every year, I would start laughing uncontrollably. When I was at school, we use to have an annual sponsored silence in which students would raise funds on the anniversary of WWII. In this instance, just knowing the reasoning behind the action is a solution but, if you really find the constant requests tedious, try stating with authority that ‘nothing has changed’ and that you’re ‘not going to bring it up again unless something does’. What’s more, I’ve always found that, if someone else tells me a plan, it seems more definite, and therefore even more satisfying (although I am often oblivious to how annoying the repetition is for others.) ![]() What’s really happening in these situations is that, as autistic people mostly work on certainties, we find the relaying of a perfect plan fulfilling, in a manner that is in equal parts pleasing and comforting. ![]() Yet, in many cases, this has nothing to do with the person we are putting under the spotlight. Have you ever tried to plan a trip to the shops with an autistic person? The preparation we go into could put a Navy Seals squad to shame! Nevertheless, this doesn’t stop us double, triple and quadruple checking the arrangements from the day of the plan to the moment of the event and you may rightfully feel overly interrogated. Raising your tone or being sharper isn’t likely to change anything other than making everyone feel worse. Instead, try asking the autistic person if they would like to move somewhere with fewer distractions or maybe come back to the topic when things are a bit less busy. If this is the case, don’t just say ‘Never mind’ and walk away (this happens all the time and it sucks). This means that a tree blowing in the wind, a dog barking far away and your voice might all sound a bit muffled and mixed together. ![]() The problem is that our bodies also process everything else around us with the same level of importance. However, autistic people aren’t actually struggling with hearing your message, in fact, we probably heard you loud and clear. You may find that, no matter how many times you rephrase a sentence, it never seems to land and this can seem downright rude. Conversing with autistic people can, at times, feel like speaking to a brick wall. ‘I’m sorry can you repeat that?’, ‘okay, now one more time?’, ‘uhuh, and what were we talking about again?’. As such, here are 10 examples where an autistic person might seem rude and how you can help. This is because, whilst autistic people are entirely capable of being purposefully impolite, there are also many aspects to our quirks which can be misconstrued in this way. However, while in some cases it’s easy to identify what is and isn’t rude, autism can be a different kettle of fish. Casually mentioning that someone’s newborn looks like a potato cross-bred with Gollum… yeah, speaking from experience, it’s probably best to not go there. Resting your sweaty feet over a theatre chair when someone is sitting in front of you: rude. There are many things which are unequivocally rude: Being let out on a busy road and not giving a nod of thanks: rude.
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